Its been a while...

So, it has definitely been a while since my last blog post. Needless to say I have done more than a few different things since then as well... but forget about all that, lets talk about whats on my mind right now.

2010 has been a tough year for me. Started out close to the top with some new found recognition from a well known television show, but of course, happiness isnt forever. Friends who were foe's, assault charges, jail time, and more than a few bad relationship experiences made me feel like a hit rock bottom. Sometimes it takes a person to reach a dead end to realize they need to turn themselves around and get on the right path....

I went down the wrong path...but here's what I learned ...

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a people pleasure. I always want the people I'm surrounded by to be happy, and for some reason, I always felt like that was my job. But if there is ONE thing in life i learned its that you can't FORCE someone to be happy, if they want to be miserable they will find a way.

HAPPINESS BEGINS WITH YOU!

I had to retrace those steps and realize that. I wasn't put on this earth to please everyone, and no matter what I do I'm sure I won't be able to. The only person I KNOW I can make happy...is me.

Of course in life you are gonna encounter more than a few phony people. The only time it really seems to effect you is when those are the people you considered yourself close to. The people you looked out for, the people you cared for, the people you thought felt the same about you. Real to your face, but fake behind your back...the only way you would be able to see it coming is if you had eyes in the back of your head but unfortunately God didn't create us that way.

SOMETIMES YOU EXPECT MORE FROM OTHERS WHEN YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO DO THAT MUCH FOR THEM

That's how it is.. and that's how it will always be. Its apart a life. Its an experience that creates growth, and if you allow it, it can also turn into motivation. Some people believe in keeping your friends close but your enemies closer, but sometimes your best friend is really a masked enemy ...and that should never be someone you should keep in arms reach. Be careful of the company you keep. The easiest yet most difficult way to find out who your true friends are is to see who is there for you once you hit rock bottom. Easy because you can point the finger for who's there for you and who's not, but a difficult scenario to go through just to figure it out. Life will never hand you a win/win situation all the time...

When it comes to friends just remember one thing....Its better to have a few true friends than 1000 fake ones. Life isn't suppose to be a popularity contest. But also keep in mind... don't rely on others too much

If you're not leaning on anyone then there is no way they can let you down. (think about it)


This year has been one HELL of a year for my "relationships" (And NO I'm not talking about the fake one I had on television) I've been searching for something REAL in MY reality... but reality is... its been a little hard to find. I typically go for the wrong guys...you know the ones who only care about themselves while I spend my time caring for them as well. Seems kinda unfair but then again life isn't exactly fair now is it. It wasn't until I realized...maybe I'm not finding the right person for me for a reason. Maybe this just isn't my time. Probably because this is the time I need to be using to focus completely on ME and no one else. I gotta find myself before anyone else can. Not saying I'm a lost soul, but I can say I'm not completely sure what I wanna do, or where this road in life is leading me... but its better for me to figure out where I'm going before I invite anyone along for a ride in my life.

I guess I gotta wait for the right time, but you know what they say ...

Patience is a Virtue


It may seem like I'm just blabbing my feelings all over this post... but at times I can be an extremely deep person, and I just cared to share my thoughts. If you didn't get the message from what you just read, allow me to lay it out for you..

IT ALL STARTS WITH YOU.

You matter first. Never rely on anyone else to make you happy when you know BEST what can make you smile. Achieve happiness thru you.

Don't "LEAN" on others. If you're strong enough to "stand up" on your own then there is no way anyone can let you down.

And don't be afraid to be "alone" There is no better time to focus on yourself and get to know who YOU are. you must know yourself before anyone else can.


That's enough blabbing from me for now. I guess when I have another deep moment I'll be back with another post. They'll get deeper and deeper... and maybe more personal...but I rather share it all then keep it bottled up inside.

Feel free to leave comments here or you can always tweet me :) @KamilleLeai

Take care for now...But I leave you with this

"The road to success is not straight.There is a curve called FAILURE, a loop called CONFUSION, speed bumps called FRIENDS, red lights called ENEMIES, caution lights called FAMILY and you will have flats called JOBS. But if you have a spare tire called DETERMINATION, an engine called PERSERVERANCE, insurance called FAITH, and a driver called JESUS you will make it to a place called SUCCESS."