I Love Money 4..What I have to say...

So, the finale just aired...and as you see I didnt win. :(

You're probably wondering how I feel about losing my chance at winning $250,000... Needless to say I cried like a lil bitch when I lost, but then again...what was I suppose to do, jump for joy :/

To be honest, at that moment it was heartbreaking. Not because I didnt win. But because I KNEW that I gave up. When I saw myself so far behind Mindy and Brooklyn at that last leg of the challenge, something in me told me I had lost, and in a way I quit trying...even tho the competition wasnt over. So yeah, I was hurt.

BUT...

Some things happen for a reason. After the finale, Mindy, Brooklyn, and myself were sitting in that huge house, no cameras, no crew, just us...and there was nothing left to do but talk...That talk we had that night changed my outlook on losing.

Now its not my place to tell anyone's business, but Mindy told myself and Brooklyn some very personal things about herself, her life, and her struggles that she was dealing with at the time. I thought to myself "wow, this chick has it rough."

I knew she had it rough before ( thats why in one of the episodes I was being a bitch and throwing it in her face :( sorry) but she revealed its more rough than we knew.

Of course I wasnt the biggest Mindy fan, but you dont have to be best friends with someone just to understand them and feel where theyre coming from.

After listening to Mindy story, I can say, I didn't deserve to win that money, she did. She was at a point in her life where she NEEDED something like that to happen to her cuz there was really no where else for her to turn. I on the other hand, being 21 at the time knew I had alot more opportunities in my life. Now I'm 23, and living comfortable with no complaints, I actually must say, I'm more than blessed for the lifestyle I have now. Someone like Mindy deserves that money more than someone like me...

Two years ago, I wanted that money to help out my dad...2 years later my dad is doing great, so what you REALLY think I would be spending some of that money on now(cus you know the winner doesnt get the money til the show is completely done airing)...(Lets be real)

Everything happens for a reason.

Mindy was the only person in that house who's heart and soul was in that game. Someone couldve chopped off that girls legs and she wouldve still been determinded to win that money, cuz to her it was alot more than just money....Theres a difference between needs and wants. Everyone else in that house WANTED 250,000....I truly think Mindy needed it.

I hope Mindy is doing much better now and enjoying that nice paycheck.

Congrats girl, you deserve it!